The Leaker

Posted in Memories 4 years, 1 month ago.

It all began with my father’s mother whom we called grammy. The story begins with my frequent visits to grammy’s house as a child. As soon as you arrived, the whitz (her dog) would all but maul you right there on the spot. I remember being terrified of that dog’s uncontrollable behavior and even more grossed out by the constant licks to the face, hands, and legs. Going to grammy’s house really was an adventure in its own but one of the main aspects of visiting grammy that has stayed in my family has to be the infamous “the leaker.”

Growing up I developed a keen taste for milk. I love the stuff and simply can’t get enough even to this day. Of course, during my visits I was always offered milk to drink as any good grandmother would to their dearing grandson. (that’s me!) Milk tastes good right? Well at grammys it always had a weird, almost rotten taste. Being the explorative child I was, I ventured to the refrigerator to investigate. I was slightly confused at first because there were no milk cartons. Instead, the milk had been transferred to multiple household containers. I was young and didn’t think much about it at the time but the odd taste of the milk always lingering in my mind.

A few years passed and at one point I heard my dad (being the humorous fellow he is) joking about “the leakers” grammy always had. It took a little bit but I put two and two together and figured he was talking about the milk. Apparently grammy somehow got in the habit of transferring her milk from the store bought cartons to the containers and my entire family swears that the reason behind this abnormal behavior was to mask the expiration date on the milk. Finally, the odd taste has been explained; but the story doesn’t stop there.

The inside joke of “the leaker” has continued to this day but one day the story took a telling twist. After going the grocery store with my dad and brother, Brian, we returned home and began unloading the food. My dad and Becky (step mom) were having a breezeway put on the house so there were various construction supplies scattered throughout the garage. We all grab groceries and Brian happens to grab the milk. Walking toward the kitchen the milk slips out of his hand and lands in a box of nails. He picks up the gallon and milk is spewing out of 15 different holes with the nails still stuck into the plastic.

As you can see, “the leaker” is not only a inside family joke, it is a curse on my family. No one knows what to sacrifice to rid the curse but I have proof it continues to this day. Just yesterday I went to the store and bought a gallon of 1% milk. Everything seemed fine at the store and even when I returned home. Little did I know that the milk had a tiny whole in the bottom and was leaking all over the inside of my refrigerator. I transferred to the milk to water bottles, glasses, and more…let’s just hope it taste normal for tomorrow.